5:45am - I wake up, forget where I am, realize I'm not home, realize I don't need to be to Temp-Pro in a half hour and orientation starts in exactly 2 hours. Reset the alarm for 5:50am.
5:50am - Get up, shower, brush teeth. I don't have my razor. I need a shave. Use dad's razor. Dad's razor sucks. Cut self a few times. Iron clothes. Fuck, I suck at ironing. Get dressed with the partial wrinkles (whatever, I tried). Scramble out the door.
6:20am - No coffee in sight. Not a goddamn Dunkin Donuts anywhere. What the hell. I mean, I know I'm supposed to cut down but I need something. Badly. Slam the peddle down and get to BMA ASAP. Outside the gas station next to the Holiday Inn. Pick up one of those Monster Java things... Not great but it'll do. Wait for people to start showing up. No one is showing up. What the hell. Go in, ask the front desk what room BMA new employee orientation is in. There's nothing scheduled. OH FUCK WHAT? Immediately start calling contacts at BMA. BMA manager made a mistake and apparently it's at the BMA Conference Center. Honest mistake and it's only 5 minutes away. Make it with a minute to spare.
7:45am - Get in. Everyone else is already seated. Anxiously look around and then give a weary smile to the people seated at my table. Told to write my name on some card and place it on the table. Some how, I manage to fuck up the "N" on my card so that it looks like my name is now "Kate". Fuck me. Scribble over the "N/K" abomination and rewrite another "N". Alright, now I just look like a moron who screws up spelling his own name. I should've stuck with Kate.
8:00am - Presentations start. The projector flashes on. And now begins the speeches on how special we all are. I'm pretty sure the first presenter ripped that shit from Mr. Rogers, not even playing. We listen for the first two hours about policies and such, learn about our HR department, Health facilities. Then... this.
10am - My group decides to nominate me as the "project lead" for this "assignment" the spokesperson gave us. I hesitantly comply, obviously... What am I going to say? I write what we're told to write (our job titles, what brought us to BMA, past work experience, what we wish to take away from working at BMA) and then present it to the "class". I stumble over my words a couple of times but manage through it. Please don't make me do that again. Oh wait, you're going to, aren't you? Shit.
10:30am - Continue listening to speakers. Listen to the Diversity Specialist. "We're all beautiful individuals that offer a particular skill set, we're the best of the best, and that BMA appreciates us for choosing them". Um, I'm pretty sure you guys chose me, but hey, that's cool.
12:00pm - Lunch. Chicken Marsala. Not too bad. I avoid the mushrooms. Mushrooms are icky :( We have a guest at our table. Some person that's important but I forget who she is. Personable friendly sort. She talks at our table for a bit... but then leaves her meal plate behind. I pick it up, along with the others. My table likes me. Or they think I'm a complete kiss ass. I don't care. Empty plates at tables bother me. It wasn't for them, it was for me.
1:00pm - Mark gets up to speak. I like Mark. He seems like a real guy, not the stuffy sort. I listen attentively... and then presents us with another "stand up in front of the class" project. What the fuck, Mark. I thought we were tight and then you go and pull this shit. My group "nominates" me again. And yet again, I have this stupid microphone in my hands, fumbling over my words. Hnnnggh.
2:00pm - We watch employee training movies.
3:00pm - Dip out. Same time, same bat channel tomorrow.
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